One of the greatest ironies of life is that we turn our noses up at what is right within our reach, while chasing those seemingly impossible possibilities in our minds. The things we possess become ordinary, while everything we cannot yet touch or reach suddenly grows in our eyes, shines, and creates an irresistible gravitational pull. So, why does the human mind get trapped in this strange and exhausting cycle?
In relationships, things begin precisely where logic ends. When the person in front of us is honest, clear, and completely accessible, that initial excitement gives way after a while to a calm routine. However, whenever someone is a bit distant, mysterious, or "hard to get," our minds instantly go on high alert. The urge to fill the vacuum of curiosity born from the unknown kicks in. When we completely know a person, there is no room left to discover; but the person we cannot reach turns into an ideal rebuilt in our minds with our own flawless fantasies. The real person is filed down, replaced by the perfection we attribute to them. In reality, what we are chasing is usually not the person themselves, but rather the ego satisfaction of overcoming that difficult obstacle or the sweet allure of the forbidden. Accessible love brings responsibility and ordinariness, whereas unreachability grants the freedom to dream from a safe distance.
The exact same dynamic applies to business life, goals, or the material things we wish to own. The harder something is to attain, the more our minds believe that thing is valuable, unique, and life saving. An opportunity that everyone can easily access rapidly loses its value, because scarcity always equals prestige in human eyes. The most striking point of the process is the illusion of "If I can just have it once, everything will get fixed." Our minds forget all the hardships along the road to that goal and imagine only the satisfaction at the moment of attainment. Yet, once that point is reached, the inevitable adaptation process of human nature kicks in; what is obtained quickly becomes ordinary, and happiness simply evaporates. Because humanity's driving force is actually not arriving, but the very state of chasing that goal. If goals run out, the mind's motivation to stay alive is also compromised.
Ultimately, the value we load onto things we cannot reach feeds not from the reality of the object, but from the meaning we ascribe to it. Everything that loses its charm the moment we obtain it actually reminds us of the never ending search of being human, and its unsatisfied yet equally vibrant nature.
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